NY Post – She was finishing her workout — he was just starting his.

An Upper West Side woman in post-yoga, meditative bliss was allegedly awakened by the sounds of a maintenance worker pleasuring himself near her mat, a lawsuit claims.
Keiko Herskovitz, a regular at Equinox’s Pure Yoga on West 77th Street, says she was in the corpse pose called shavasana, lying with her eyes closed, on Jan. 26 when she “heard someone walk into the room.”

Herskovitz ignored the noise until “she felt that there was a person next to her, and she opened her eyes to find a Pure Yoga. . . maintenance associate about two feet away, masturbating,” the suit says.

Herskovitz, 55, “asked, ‘What are you doing?!” the papers say. The man, described as a 19-year-old, quickly split, the suit says.

For starters, I’m legitimately surprised this doesn’t happen more often. I’m not saying everyone beats their meat in public but there are enough lunatics out there that would. Especially in a yoga studio. Tight clothing, butts all over the place, maintenance guy next to you whackin it. All seem to go hand in hand…pun wasn’t intended but it was intended.

For someone who works there, you’d think he’d just set up some cameras somewhere. This is definitely the more aggressive approach. I’m no lawyer but I’m pretty sure you just got added to the sexual predator list. Was it worth it bud? Save that shit for home. Throw on a workout vid and go to town. Whatever floats your boat.

Sidenote – “She was finishing her workout — he was just starting his.” could be my favorite start to a story ever.