The Smoking Gun – A Florida farmhand arrested for having sexual contact with a miniature donkey explained to cops that the Sunshine State was “backwards” since its residents “frown on zoophilia,” according to a police report.

Carlos Romero, 31, was collared yesterday and charged with misdemeanor sexual activity with an animal.

Investigators report that a witness last month spotted Romero, pictured in the mug shot at right, “up against the rear of the donkey” apparently having sex with the animal.

Romero—who was shirtless and had his pants down-pulled away from the donkey when he spotted the witness, who had been delivering a horse to the barn he rents.

When interviewed Friday by cops, Romero made a series of shocking admissions.

He began by saying that he “uses his fingers and saliva to clean the donkey’s clitoris and check for wood shavings and debris,” adding that he “gets aroused” by seeing an animal in heat.

Romero reported that he “stands behind the donkey, scratches her withers and masturbates.” He revealed that he “likes the way the fur feels on his testicles,” and that his penis “may have come in contact with the donkey’s vagina by accident and his semen may have splattered inside the donkey by accident.”

After recalling that he masturbated with the donkey “5 or 6 times,” Romero “stated Florida is a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here.”

Romero is being held in the Marion County jail in lieu of $2000 bond.

Chalk another one up for the Sunshine State!  I haven’t seen an article with this many quotes in a long time.  Carlos Romero to the rescue!  Dude is just bangin donkeys like it’s the hot new thing.  Newsflash bro: YOU’RE FUCKING A DONKEY, MAN! (see mandatory Eurotrip video below).

Here’s the real question: what are donkeys doing in Florida?  Must be all those hillsides they need to trek to get clean water for the trailer parks.  Well that’s obviously not why…there’s no clean water in Florida.

Lets cut down on the zoophilia Florida.  Get your shit together and stop being “backwards.”